


In Wiles You Run Swiftly, In Wiles You Run Slow.

by flandersmare



Series: Figrid February 2016 [4]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Day 4, F/M, Fígrid February, Opposing Ideologies, elements of ptsd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 16:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5935057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flandersmare/pseuds/flandersmare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili has to swallow his fear and face something that runs in the very blood of his beloved.</p><p>Or</p><p>Of all the traumas that you faced on the Quest, this is the one that’s got you son?</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Wiles You Run Swiftly, In Wiles You Run Slow.

‘No Sigrid, I will not do this.’

Fili stood his ground as best he could, arm crossed over his chest as he stared down his intended. He had the higher ground from where he stood, a good 12 feet above her head and her with little solid ground to stand on. But Sigrid would not be cowed.  She set her hands on her hips and squared her shoulders.

‘Fili, this is absurd. You don’t need to be causing such a scene.’

Fili breathed sharply and quickly took his eyes away from Sigrid’s shifting chest. She knew what she was doing, the vixen. She wouldn’t break him on this, not with her words and not with her wiles. He was a dwarf, he would be stone. He fixed his eyes on the horizon. He would not look as her, with the skin of her shoulders and breasts freckling in the summer sun.

‘Lord Fili?’ Tauriel stood a little behind Sigrid. She was dressed similarly, more skin exposed to the sun and wind, but she stood demurely, hair loose and covering her, arms folder across her stomach. Not like his proud and cruel love. ‘Lord Fili, I promise you. This is safe.’

‘It is not a matter of safety,’ Fili barked and Sigrid glared up at him as Tauriel balked at his tone. ‘It is a matter of what is natural. What is decent.’

‘Natural?’, Sigrid threw her head back in a harsh bark of laugher. ‘Surely you jest. You cannot think this unnatural.’

‘I do woman,’ Fili grit out. ‘This is not natural. For a dwarf, this goes against everything in our blood. It is you who reveal in this.’

‘We?’ Sigrid asked icily. Tilda was looking back and forth between her sister and her two favourite dwarfs with upset writ upon her face. Kili stood at his brother’s back, his back against a post and his expression dark. Tilda hurried to her sister’s side and took her hand. ‘What do you speak of, dear heart?’, her question had the cold bite of steel.

‘You, as changing and fickle as water,’ Fili said, looking down his nose at her. There she was; her hair unbound and beautiful in her ire. Her chin proud and her eyes flashing. ‘And as treacherous.’

He would not heed Sigrid’s angry in draw of breathe and Tilda’s little cry of shock. He heard his brother shift and move from his post, coming to stand beside him. Another Son of Durin, one who would stand with him. ‘We are dwarves,’ Fili declared, gesturing to Kili as he spoke. ‘We are of stone. This is not our way. It is not clean. We will not partake.’

Fili stared Sigrid down, taking no pleasure in angering her so but she needed to understand, he could not. He could not join her in this. His eyes lingered on the movement of her skirts, swaying to and fro, even as her sister tried to hide behind them. He tried not to see the shock in Tauriel’s face, she was a fearsome warrior with a tender heart and she hated seeing such strife between their strange little family. Kili’s hand settled on Fili’s shoulder and squeezed supportively. Fili turned to his brother and tried to tell him how much this pained him. He loved her. He didn’t want to upset her or little Tilda but they had to understand. He was Crown Prince. He couldn’t.

Kili looked at him hard for a moment before nodding slightly, his face betraying nothing. Fili dropped his gaze as Kili shook his shoulder in condolences ever so slightly. Fili turned to cast one last cool look at the women before them, Kili’s hand still on his shoulder in silent support. His brother squeezed his shoulder once again as Fili closed his eyes on his beloved’s unyielding face.

Then he shoved.

Fili toppled off the end of the pier, the wood disappearing from under his feet, arms flailing and a strangled scream following him all the way down. He hit the surface of the Long Lake with more of a smack than a splash. For a few moments, Fili’s world was dark, cold and somehow noise and noiseless all at once. He didn’t know which way was up, he couldn’t breathe, his mouth tasted of sediment and panic-

Fili broke the surface and took a great, rattling breath, hacking up water in one motion and gulping down air in the next. ‘KILI!’ he screamed, striking the surface of the Lake as he fought to stability in the churning water. He looked up at the end of the pier where his traitor of a brother was laughing at him, his hands on his knees. ‘AMADMEZU RUKHS!’

Kili laughed and turned and walked away, out of Fili’s sight, leaving him adrift and without anchor. He struck out with his legs but they scythed through nothing but water. He couldn’t reach the bottom. There was nothing but him and blackness.

Feet thundered on the boards overhead and, with a wild whoop, Kili came hurtling into sight again. He hit the surface of the lake like a kingfisher, disappearing with the smallest of ripples, only to reappear again a few feet. He shook his head, sending spray in all directions and fixed Fili with a sardonic look as he paddled over.

‘We have the same mother, you ass.’      

Fili would have come up with something witty and cutting in reply, but all his concentration was going into keeping his mouth and nose above the surface of the water. Thankfully, he was saved the indignity of gurgling on his insults but his soon to be sister-in-law. Tilda, paddling industriously, had snuck behind Kili and dunked his head back under the water. Kili threw his hands up and flailed theatrically, bubbles erupting on the surface. Her giggles turned to delighted shrieks as Kili managed to re-emerge. She slipped off his head and bobbed away in his wake as water spewed out of Kili’s mouth in a steady stream. His hair was mattered down over his eyes and as he span slowly towards Tilda’s giggles and lifted one sopping lock up. Seeing herself spotted, Tilda squealed and took off, Kili making a meal of giving chase with a roar. Tilda was a fast little swimmer however. Fili saw the moment that Kili realised that, yes, actually, he’s actually going to have to try and keep up.

In the bobbing of the wake of the two and shifting of the waves, Fili was able to reach out and scrabble a hold onto the stilt of the pier. He lashed his arms and legs around it, slicing himself up on the fresh water mussels who’d had the same idea as him. He took a moment, or several, to calm down and take stock for his situation. He could follow the pier back to the shore. He could go from stilt to stilt, even if there was 15 yards between each of them.

‘Fili?’

Fili tried to bite down on the strangled, gurgling noise that wanted to escape and wasn’t wholely successful. Neither was he successful in maintaining his grip. He keened from between clenched teeth as his twisting sent his out of reach of any anchor. He flailed in open water again and thrashed, sending white water out in small whirlpool around him.

‘Fili!’

Pressure snaked around the barrel of his chest and he redoubled his efforts. He roared and near drowned himself with the amount of water he kicked up.

‘Fili, stop it!’

Sigrid’s voice broke through his panic and after a beat, the unyielding terror eased and he went limp. Fili’s head lolled back, thumping into Sigrid’s collar bone. He let his head list to the side, his nose pressing into the hollow of her throat. He gulped air and tried to match his breathing with hers. He felt pressure on his temple and let his eyes slip closed. She had him.

‘Come on my silly love.’

Fili felt the movement of water around him as Sigrid started to scull them backwards, out from under the shade of the pier. The shock of the summer’s sunlight on his face burned through his eyelids and the warmth on his skin was bliss after the shade under the pier. He tried not to think about the fact that they were striking towards open water instead of the shore and just let her carry him with her. He let the water and his betrothed hold him up, his limbs dragging like fishing lines behind a herring drifter. He could hear his brother’s roaring laughter accompanied by Tauriel’s and Tilda’s lighter, tinkling tones as they drew closer. Sigrid gradually slowed her strokes and was soon languidly treading water with Fili still in her arms.

‘You with us now?’

‘Yes,’ Fili sighed. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘I should hope so,’ Sigrid brusquely. ‘You didn’t need to be so rude up there.’

Fili nodded meekly. ‘I know,’ he swallowed thickly, ‘I know I panicked.’

Sigrid hummed and rested her chin on his head and hugged him to her again. Making it impossible to escape when Tilda swam over to treadle in front to them both. ‘Fili?’ her voice was more timid then he’d ever heard her and she wouldn’t come too close. Fili felt something break in him knowing he’d actually scared her.

‘I’m sorry treasure,’ he said, curling his hands around Sigrid’s arm where it lay across his chest, his finger idly rubbing circles into the skin there. ‘I’m sorry, I got scared. Can you forgive me?’

‘Of course!’ The Maker bless this girl. She darted forwards, the cloth of her swimming clothes unfurling around her, and she threw her arms around his neck. Fili stiffed at the additional weigh and his breathe caught in his throat as the three of them bobbed up and down. But he felt Sigrid strong kicks below them, keeping them up, keeping him from going under.

Tilda, blissfully unaware to Fili’s fraying nerves, hummed happily and pressed a loud kiss to his sodden cheek. She smiled at him again, before taking off as easily as if she was an otter, making a bee-line for Tauriel. Fili watched in astonishment as when Tilda reached her, Tauriel hooked her hands under the girls arms, hefted her out of the water and threw her out over the surface of the lake. Tilda giggling the entire way, and each time swimming back for another flight.

He and Sigrid watched quietly for a few tosses, when Sigrid nuzzled closer. ‘What’s the matter?’

Fili knew there was no way he could avoid the question, but he was going to play for time. He stayed silent as Kili tried to lend his services to Tilda’s flying lessons. He huffed a breath as Tilda and Tauriel shared a look and Tauriel launched Tilda at Kili, Tilda screeching like a crazed goblin. As Kili and Tilda hit the water in a cloud of spray, Fili took a short breathe.

‘There was an… incident… on the quest.’ She rubbed at his chest through his drenched shirt, encouraging him to continue. ‘Our route out of Mirkwood was the River Running. And Bilbo got us out of there...’

‘Oh,’ Sigrid breathed. ‘The ‘Barrel Incident’.’

‘Yes,’ Fili groaned into her arm. ‘Yes. The ‘Barrel Incident’. It seems, now, any body of water, and… I…’ His mumbled words gave out on him and he slunk a little closer to Sigrid.

‘What are you two talking about?’

Not that he’d calmed down, Fili highly doubted that Kili wanted to be anywhere near him now. He glared at his brother over Sigrid’s arm and he had to fight the instinct to growl.

‘Fili was just telling me about how he’s developed a healthy respect for how dangerous, unrelenting and unpredictable bodies of water can be,’ Sigrid said airily.

Kili frowned at her, his gaze flicking to Fili’s face, and Mahal damn him, Fili could see the cogs turning in the little sod’s brain.

‘No!’ Kili’s cried incredulously. ‘No!’

‘What?’ Fili barked defensively, trying to push back further into the circle of Sigrid’s arms.

‘All the dangers we faced!’ Kili cried. ‘All the foes we stared down, all the trials, all the risks. The Dragon, the orcs, the Battle of the Five Armies! Mum when she tipped up! And THIS is the trauma that’s got it’s claws in you?!”

‘Shut up Kili!’ Kili disappeared under the water again as Tilda leapt on his back like a vengeful mewlip. ‘It’s not funny! Water demands your respect because you can’t sweet-talk a river.’ He came up spluttering again, flailing out and holding onto Tauriel as he coughed.

‘That’s the thing about being caught between the devil and the deep blue sea,’ Sigrid muttered sagely. ‘Sometimes, the devil is willing to negotiate.’ She and Tilda shared a look. ‘We grew up on this lake. We know her depths, her shores, her waves. But we make no pretence at knowing _her_.’ She squeezed Fili to her again. ‘You’re right to be cautious. But you can’t let her know you fear her. She’ll drown you even if you never dip a toe in her again.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Kili spluttered, ‘but, you were OK during the event?’

‘I was worried about a certain idiot who had taken an orc arrow to his knee!’

‘In the process of releasing the whole of the Company! What about when we fled Lake Town.’

Fili glared at Kili disbelievingly. ‘I was more concerned about what was above us than below, you cretin!’

‘What about when we crossed to Erebor?’

‘Bit concerned about the fact that the rest of the Company could be dead!’

‘What about-‘

‘Tilda? Kindly shut Kili up for me, would you?’ Sigrid said, unfurling from around Fili and taking his hand. ‘Don’t drown him, ask Tauriel first OK?’ Sigrid kicked out and struck up a gentle stroke, towing Fili unresistingly behind her. Once Kili’s tortured screams had died away sufficiently, Sigrid stopped them and turned to face him, keeping her arms around him to keep him up.

‘I’m sorry Sigrid,’ he said again, avoiding her eye. ‘I’m sorry, it comes and it goes I can’t really explain it but-‘

Sigrid’s lips tasted of lake water. She still held him up even as he stilled completely, her legs ticking back and forth in a steady beat, keeping them above the surface. She pulled back and Fili found himself distracted by the way the water clumped her eye lashes together.

‘You don’t need to explain it to me. You don’t need to justify it. Just tell when it is happening. Can you promise me that?’

‘Yes,’ Fili murmured and leant in for another kiss. ‘Yes’, he breathed against her lips.

‘OK,’ she smiled and pecked him once more before pulling back. ‘Have we changed your mind regarding swimming at all?’

‘I’m sorry my love,’ Fili grimaced, ‘you were born of these waters. I am of the stone, I don’t float so well just yet.’

Sigrid nodded sagely, lowering her eyes and worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. ‘I understand,’ she said, and Fili blinked at the hooded look in her eyes. ‘There _is_ one other type of swimming, which you may find more gratifying.’ Fili frowned at her as he started to unconsciously copy her treading techniques, and she lent in to whisper into his ear, her fingers idling with the collar of his soaked shirt. Fili’s eyes widen and he felt his tongue thicken in his mouth.

‘Well’, he croaked, as Sigrid pulled back in a swirl of wet and clinging cloth. ‘Well, my Lady, this is not my way, but yours. You must guide me in this.’

**Author's Note:**

> Yes. Yes, she's suggesting skinny-dipping.
> 
> About this time last year, I was in New Zealand and I experienced what it was like to be caught in a rip-tide off Mercury Bay. 30secs of genuine fear for my life. This is exorcising a few demons.
> 
> \- Translation - AMADMEZU RUKHS - 'Your mother is an orc' - roughly translating it to 'son of a bitch'. - (Thank you inheritanceofgeek/mrsmarymorston xx)  
> \- Mewlip - Within Middle Earth, they are a fictious race of evil creatures that prey on travellers in marshy and boggy land.


End file.
